Question: What is the People Pleasing Personality Disorder?
I’m no Professional Expert on the condition of People Pleasing but I am an Experienced Expert on being a People Pleaser.
I also know that you can Google People Pleaser and find those experts who will give you the clinical explanation and text book definition of what People Pleasing is. Since you can get that from them, I choose to give you a former sufferer's answer to that question. For certain, It can feel like a disorder that you are born with. But it’s not. It’s a Learned Behavior. Hey now, don't fret. It's important that you also know that there’s not a thing wrong with wanting to please people. It’s when you neglect or deny yourself because you are afraid of what will happen if you don’t give people what they want that is the problem. I can tell you that there’s a misunderstanding going on inside of yourself that is causing you to People Please.
For me, it was mainly 2 things. 1. Not knowing that I was a Highly Sensitive Person and 2. My ability to be very Resilient.
HERE”S HOW THESE 2 MISUNDERSTANDINGS CAUSED ME PROBLEMS. I could detect the uncomfortableness in people, sometimes even before they did, and I wanted to spare them this pain. So I’d say Yes, or tolerate disrespect and rudeness because I knew it was coming from a place of pain. I knew I’d be O.K. so I didn’t confront people like i should have immediately. This turned into a very bad habit for me that encouraged others to take advantage of me. Further more, all the while I was People Pleasing, I was hating EVERY SECOND of it. So this couldn’t have been a natural way for me to be. After finally learning to choose ME over them, I came to understand that I did not have a disorder but a condition I taught myself to have. Maybe this explanation might be too simplistic or unlearned for some, but I’m not suffering from People Pleasing anymore when it was a Major Major stumbling block for me for over 20 years. And if I learned to overcome it, so can you. WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR SELF RIGHT NOW Learn How To HEAR Yourself. I’ve created a Free Downloadable TRACKER that you can use Today to improve how you hear yourself. You can access my Free Hear Yourself Tracker when you take this QUICK QUIZ. You’ll also get more insights on how to stop People Pleasing in your results as well. Well that’s my Q to your A. Stay tuned for more Quick Simple answers to People Pleasing in this series.
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Lana McMurray is the founder of Free 2 Thrive Coaching LLC. She is a Growing Certainty Coach for ambitious people trapped in all-too-ordinary lives. She helps entrepreneurs, creatives and business owners successfully navigate Uncertainty as they go through their unavoidable Journey of Growth. She understands the many ways that risk-taking, self starting people secretly undermine themselves and stop the growth process. She helps them stay True to Themselves so that grow into their extraordinary lives.
She also personally knows that “Life can be Messy” and there is a unique difficulty in being an Entrepreneur, Creative or Business Owner who is seeking to to be “True to Themselves” and grow their lives and businesses but at home is dealing with toxic a relationship. As an overcomer of Verbal/Emotional Abuse, she helps them gain Clarity and make empowering decisions. To get your F*R*E*E Trainings and weekly Growth Support visit www.free2thrivecoaching.com
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