Girl, what are you doing?
You’ve got ambition. You know what you want and you’re going after it yet you’re also exhausting yourself trying to make a relationship work.
A growing concern for you is discovering that your losing interest in your creative and entrepreneurial pursuits.
So you keep telling yourself that it isn’t that bad.
But despite your best efforts to improve your relationship with your partner, they continue to thrive on your disconnected intimacy and you guys are starting to live more like roommates than lovers.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO?? WHAT IS GOING ON??
When you’re dealing with someone who avoids intimacy and relationships at all costs, inevitably it’s going to take a toll on you.
As a Soloprenuer, Side Hustler, Creative, or Entrepreneur, or inspiring Entrepreneur you can’t afford the ramifications of the brain stress.
Great Relationships take work and time, that’s true, but how much work? And how long should you keep trying, waiting, hoping for them to change?
In this article we are going to examine just a few of the affects of brain stress that results from being in a troubled relationship and receive solutions to begin.
“You can be that quiet person that holds everything in and still have the increase in stress reactions”
Why Are Troubled Relationships Bad for Girl Bosses
Your loving and positive response to the chaos in your relationship will not protect you from the effects of brain stress.
When dealing with a difficult partner, defending yourself or just walking on egg shells so not to rock the boat is interpreted in your mind as a threat.
When your mind perceives a threat, catabolic hormones such as cortisol and adrenalin increase.
Because there's no resolve in the issues and incidents, there's a continual drip of cortisol in your body.
On a long-time basis, this deteriorates your entire bodily system showing up as depression, anxiety, and various illnesses and disease
Given the fact that toxic partners systematically offend and intentionally cause isolation you are put in a very vulnerable position of feeling lonely and depressed.
"However, the simple presence of a spouse is not necessarily protective; a troubled marriage is itself a prime source of stress, and simultaneously limits the partner's ability to seek support in other relationships (Coyne and DeLongis, 1986). Indeed, the relationship between life satisfaction and marital quality is stronger than life satisfaction’s ties to either one's job or one’s health (Heller et al., 2004). Marital quality clearly colors one’s overall sense of well-being, and marital distress elevates health risks (Kiecolt-Glaser and Newton, 2001, Robles et al., 2014)."
Now this is talking about marriage, but it pertains to intimate relationships also to a degree.
And if your heading towards marriage, perhaps you want to heed the wisdom from the scientific geniuses and seriously consider whether you should take that leap.
I know I wish I had the quality of information that is available today.
This is one of the main reasons I created my Program: The Power of Clarity, to give others the insight I gained from my losses, information I wish I could have had.
“Study after study has shown that people who feel lonely, depressed and isolated are many times more likely to get sick and die prematurely - not only of heart disease but from virtually all causes - than those who have a sense of connection, love and community”
- Dean Ornish, MD, WebMD -
The Problem:
The relationship is confusing and potentially harmful but there are consequences to the decision you make.
It's possible others don't see it and it tempts you to think you're over reacting.
The Solution:
1. Know that you have a choice.
This thought is powerful.
You do not have to be trapped in a relationship, even if you are married.
2. Take back your energy.
I've created a free Tracker to help you validate your perceptions and help you reframe incidents.
***This will reduce stress and increase your power to execute on necessary actions to move your business forward.
Get your FREE Tracker
Just tell us where to send it
Being Your Own Boss Requires You To Own Your Experience Impact to Creative and Solopreneur Pursuits
Another factor to deal with is Rumination.
According to Web MD, Rumination is a component of depression and makes you want to skip activities that you normally enjoy.
News Flash - Rumination is an involuntary response to toxic relationships where you turn incidents that happened in your relationship over and over in your mind and try to figure out what happened and how to fix it.
And like I said in the intro - when you're made to feel that it’s all your fault, you spend excessive amounts of time and energy ruminating. Believe me you.
This places you in a catabolic state of being that puts you at lower resonating vibrations where things feel hard and become difficult and you lose passion, drive and focus or you feel like you have to fight for everything.
Instead of being productive, efficient and affective you rumination & over-analysis are effects of the trauma you experienced. negatively impacting your performance
The Problem You Can Face:
- Loss of confidence
- Wait for permission
- Quit because you're not Perfect
- Procrastinate
- Avoid doing important things.
- Feel anxiety and fear, and
- Get stuck in worry and rumination.
- Decline new opportunities.
- Be too nervous to perform effectively.
- Show signs of avoidance, such as apathy, withdrawal, analysis paralysis, and giving up.
The Solution:
Interrupt the process of rumination by putting things in proper perspective.
Writing things down based on your perceptions moves the thoughts and questions out your soul and head and onto the paper where you can view it for what they are - Not Your Fault.
After time you will find that you grow tired of restoring your self only to be placed back in the tormenting environment just because that's what they want to do.
In Summary, Your partner doesn't have to be a all out narcissist. They could just be neglectful towards your needs and chronically indifferent to you. But you do need to consider yourself worthy enough to see if your relationship is healthy for you.
While you're going through therapy or trying on your own to figure out what's going on in your relationship (Again - you don't have to go it alone, I created POC to help exactly with this issue).
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