Growth Through Relationships

TRUTH:  We cannot love another person unless We have self love.



If I could hear your heart and read your mind right now, I would most likely hear you saying:

               “I need people, desperately, but I hate them too.”

Right?because being in relationship has been tough on you.

People have tested the strength of your love and mistaken your kindness for weakness. You’ve been betrayed, taken advantage of and neglected.

And it’s not because you are co-dependent. On the contrary you are strong and independent.  You just have a gift of empathy and intuition that has not yet been mastered.

Bottom line: You want to retain your individuality while being in relationship with others.

Not because you are selfish or protecting yourself from being hurt again but because you love being in community and see God in each unique being and know that they – others – are capable of taking responsibility for their own lives and you don’t want to be left doing their work just because you are so strong.

You value open communication but it can be challenging for you as you often hide your true desires from others.

You absolutely want to be in a loving committed relationship and to be close to the people in your life, the people who’s judgment is personal.

You love your independence, you LOVE community but just haven’t figure out how to get others to let you be you.


What Your Challenges Tend To Be

Talk about relationships hurting. Here’s a glimpse of what may be going on in your life right now.

•Feeling burdened by too much responsibility.

•Thinking that what I do is never good enough.

•Not being appreciated for what I do for people.

•Being upset because others aren’t trying as hard as I am.

•Obsessing about what I did or what I should do.

•Being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously.

•No matter what I do, others will find fault with me.


If you are married or in a committed relationship it’s possible that this intimate relationship frustrates you and sometimes you wonder if your spouse/lover is really the right one for you.

For those other “personal” relationships of yours …for instance your parents, siblings, relatives, friends, coworkers and colleagues, you wish the relationship(s) could be easier, without so many struggles.

PATTERN CONTINUES: similar to the relationship with yourself where the opinion of others has hurt you. see Growth Through Self

In your relationship with your intimate others not only are you easily absorbed into other people’s opinion of you… but now because you aren’t being true to yourself, this issue has grown into you being easily absorbed into other people”s purposes.

How you ask???

Because you pick up others energy easily and become entrained with their life force.

This empathetic gift you have, because it is undeveloped, has caused you much pain and lingering grief where it should be bringing you joy, fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness.

Living your life for others and abandoning yourself in the process is painful.

As you know by now…NO ONE is coming to your rescue. You must rescue yourself.


What You Need Most Right Now

Your Primary focus needs to be on Excavating yourself from others.

It’s all about learning how to be the gatekeeper in your life.

Individuality is your birthright. It is your unique fingerprint in this space/time/continuum we call life and you need to know that you don’t have to give up being you to be loved by anyone

However, we do exist in relationship… as a matter of fact 90% of the time our behavior involves someone else.

People and situations are a reflection of how you see yourself in the world.

So it is not surprising to discover that knowing yourself betters improves the quality of your relationships and how you are being, how you show up in life, determines what you attract to you.

A huge release of pain will come from shifting your perspective to where you see relationships as journeys. They are Relation…Ships after all!

You will benefit immensely from learning how to open yourself up authentically to others.

The immediate skill of knowing How to Handle dramas that pop-up will set you on the path to deeply fulfilling relationships.

Also really discovering that putting yourself FIRST is not the Selfishness you have come to believe… will be liberating.

I can absolutely help you to see that it’s a Win-Win,  When you improve you… you improve others and that can be a loving guide for you.


Ready to Give Up the Struggle Right Now?

These FREE resources will support you immediately in addressing what needs to happen in your life right now at an intellectual, emotional, and soul/spirit level so that you can begin reclaiming your Powerful Self.

CLICK LINK: 5 Step Assertive Communication Checklist.


What Clients are Saying.



Before I worked with Lana I had a hard time making decisions and seeing my self-worth. I frequently experienced guilt and shame throughout the day.  I was a chronic people pleaser who took to heart what other people said about me and lived my life based on their perceptions.  I was also afraid of other people’s anger and feared standing up for myself because I didn’t want to be perceived as a stereo- typical angry black woman. So I stuffed my emotions way down and suffered the cost.

Where I used to need other people’s permission to like myself, those days are over! Now what I think and feel about myself is what matters. I can look in the mirror and express self appreciation.

I no longer have a hard time saying what I think and feel. I have a growing healthy self esteem and stand up for myself and am empowering my family members. (see full testimonial)

The Self Recovery Program(s) you’ll thrive in…