Question: I’m A People Pleaser Because That’s What The Bible and Jesus Teach?
Well, I don’t think Jesus was a People Pleaser, at least not a very good one.
In fact, people disliked him so much that they shouted crucify him and had him nailed to a cross.
And when he turned those tables over in the market place, that wasn’t very nice.
I’m sure some of those people were just trying to make a living and provide useful goods and services to the public.
No, Jesus had boundaries.
And if you crossed them, he let you know about it.
He didn’t spend time worrying about what you thought or if you might get offended.
And he did all this while being a “man,” not God.
[Tweet “Many people mistakenly use God and his Word to guilt people into doing things.”]
My experience has been that I am a naturally nice person.
I genuinely like for people to be happy.
I don’t mind going out of my way to help someone.
And I feel good when I help another person reach a goal or make a reality come true.
That’s one of the many reasons why I am a Life Coach.
It’s extremely rewarding to see someone win.
I am especially interested in assisting people get Free to Thrive.
But I had to learn a hard lesson, that for many people, you are just a means to an end.
If you are willing to give, they are willing to take and feel no shame about it.
They don’t even care if you half kill yourself in the process.
When you stop giving to them, they disappear. Possibly after bad mouthing you and laying a guilt trip on you first.
I put a STOP to that.
I learned to say no, without guilt and it freed me.
Here’s a NEW perspective on People Pleasing
Very Important Truth: Man (mankind) is a unique triune being – a spirit with a soul/mind and body, we are are fearlessly and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
We can hear from God ourselves.
You don’t need to be externally led by other people and enslaved to guilt.
TODAY – Discover the 2 techniques that worked to FREE me.
Doing at least these 2 things can free you from future headaches and heartaches.
FOLLOWING AFTER PEACE – Say YES to You.
How-To: By noticing how you feel. (feelings were give to you for a reason).
Quick Simple Tip
When a request is made of you, If you feel:
expansiveness and light —- say Yes
restricted and heavy — say NO
WHY >>> Your body is designed to release chemicals automatically based on how you follow your truth.
Not my idea, but God’s.
When you dishonor yourself, the chemicals released are toxic and harm your body.
“thoughts are measurable and occupy mental “real estate.” “…A thought may seem harmless. But if it becomes toxic, even just a simple thought can become physically, emotionally or spiritually dangerous.”
“Toxic thoughts are thoughts that trigger negative and anxious emotions, which produce biochemicals that cause the body stress. They are stored in your mind, as well as in the cells of your body.” Caroline Leaf
This damage doesn’t happen when you follow after peace.
KNOW WHAT IS YOU AND WHAT IS NOT YOU – Take 100% Responsibility for you.
Is this your responsibility?
Do you have to give your time, energy, money, resources just because someone else has a legitimate need?
Are they trying to get this need met through their own efforts or are you a fast convenient and simple solution for them?
Sometimes in the beginning of setting and enforcing boundaries you have to say no to everyone.
That’s not selfish, that’s just wanting to get healthy inside.
Especially if you have learned that it is your job to make others happy at your expense.
You can choose not to get involved.
You’re not God… they aren’t going to be ruined if you don’t.
Actually, you strengthen yourself so that you can be of more valuable service for others in the future.
How-To: Ask yourself these questions.
Quick Simple Tip
When a request is made of you, ask yourself:
- Am I the only way for them?
- Have they prayed about it, sought help from anyone else?
- Do I even want to do this?
So there you have it, two simple and easy ways to Know yourself, Trust Yourself and be TRUE TO YOURSELF.
When you feel uncomfortable about a request someone has made of you, it’s safe to assume they could be stepping across your boundaries.
You have every right to toss them off your property, JESUS STYLE.
Want to use this article on your website or your own ezine? No problem! But here is what you MUST include:
Lana McMurray is the founder of Free 2 Thrive Coaching LLC. She is a Growing Certainty Coach for ambitious people trapped in all-too-ordinary lives. She helps entrepreneurs, creatives and business owners successfully navigate Uncertainty as they go through their unavoidable Journey of Growth. She understands the many ways that risk-taking, self starting people secretly undermine themselves and stop the growth process. She helps them stay True to Themselves so that grow into their extraordinary lives.
She also personally knows that “Life can be Messy” and there is a unique difficulty in being an Entrepreneur, Creative or Business Owner who is seeking to to be “True to Themselves” and grow their lives and businesses but at home is dealing with toxic a relationship. As an overcomer of Verbal/Emotional Abuse, she helps them gain Clarity and make empowering decisions. To get your F*R*E*E Trainings and weekly Growth Support visit www.free2thrivecoaching.com
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