I Can’t Refuse People. I Just Can’t Say No. How Can I Overcome This?
QUESTION: I can’t refuse people. I just can’t say NO. I want to be on everybody’s good side and for no one to think ill of me. But I’m tired of doing everything for everyone and people taking advantage of me. I want to overcome this.
My Dear Friend I’ve got straight up responses for you. 1. Not everyone is going to like you. 2. You are going to have to become comfortable with the uncomfortableness of disappointing people. If you can get those two things nailed down you can overcome this. It’s not going to be easy when you first attempt to be assertive, it’s going to get messier first. I personally had to adopt the idea that I was going to say it wrong. That is speak my truth immediately "how" it came out not if I could get it out PERFECTLY. If the person understood me or not didn’t matter at first either. The fact that I’d acted on behalf of myself right away did. I sounded like a scared fool. And that was right because I was a scared person. But eventually I got good at saying no right away regardless of the fear I was feeling. So you, dear one, are going to have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. No Problem, I'll Help You With That. Take these 5-Steps to Make Saying No Easier Today. 1. Decide to overcome this. This means you make a burn the boats kind of decision where you don't go back on this decision when tempted to falter. 2. Choose 3-5 basic responses to all request where you want to say NO to. Keep it simple. It’s not about the explanation but the getting across that you are not available. Period. 3. Start off with a day, then extend to a week than a month where you turndown request asked of you because you are flexing your muscle. I’m talkingabout regardless of if its a simple good and honest request, you just say NO because you are practicing. Giving yourself this time-off helps you keep up your courage and actually follow through on keeping your promise withyourself to overcome this. 4. Let peoples remarks about how you’ve change or any disappointment fall out you encounter just be their opinion and they are entitled to. You just keep keeping on with being True to Yourself. 5. Join my Facebook Group Growth Hackers so you can be supported in your endeavors to grow as a person. Click this link: Here’s your personal invite. I’ve also created a Free Quiz Series to help you even further with troublesome personal issues. It includes customized downloadable worksheets too. Go Here Well that’s my Q to your A. Stay tuned for more Quick Simple answers to People Pleasing in this series.
QUIZ SERIES TO IDENTIFY WHY YOU PLAY IT SMALL IN YOUR LIFE
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Lana McMurray is the founder of Free 2 Thrive Coaching LLC. She is a Growing Certainty Coach for ambitious people trapped in all-too-ordinary lives. She helps entrepreneurs, creatives and business owners successfully navigate Uncertainty as they go through their unavoidable Journey of Growth. She understands the many ways that risk-taking, self starting people secretly undermine themselves and stop the growth process. She helps them stay True to Themselves so that grow into their extraordinary lives.
She also personally knows that “Life can be Messy” and there is a unique difficulty in being an Entrepreneur, Creative or Business Owner who is seeking to to be “True to Themselves” and grow their lives and businesses but at home is dealing with toxic a relationship. As an overcomer of Verbal/Emotional Abuse, she helps them gain Clarity and make empowering decisions. To get your F*R*E*E Trainings and weekly Growth Support visit www.free2thrivecoaching.com
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