I Learned People Pleasing From Childhood, How Can I Stop This?
1. It’s a habit. People Pleasing is a learned behavior. It is not a personality defect.
2. It’s not Impossible to stop. Since People Pleasing is a behavioral trait that you learn. The good news is that you can unlearn it. It can be replaced with assertiveness.
3. It takes time to end. Stopping People Pleasing doesn’t happen overnight. It could take a few months or years to stop being an habitual People Pleaser. And when you are free, you will still have moments of crisis where you feel overwhelmed to please, everyone does. But you won’t be enslaved to the guilt and fear you previously had. That powerlessness and feeling as if you have no choice is what I removed and you can too.
Before we move on, just a brief explanation on how we do things here at Free 2 Thrive Way.
The Free 2 Thrive Way: Simple and Effective. I HATE Fluff.
I’ve experienced some pretty traumatic and life altering situations in life and have had to learn how to roll with the punches.
So this Question Series about People Pleasing will provide answers that are quick, highly effective and easy to use.
No Fluff just practical solutions that are quick and work.
Let’s Get Into The Heavy Stuff Now
As mentioned above everyone around you affects you and everything around you affects you, they influence you and can infect you.
So I’m going to tell what I know and think based on how I’ve overcome People Pleasing and using my professional training.
It’s all about the MEANING.
The meaning that you give to things…is one of the functions of your creative Power given by God. The ability to create meaning is what separates us from the rest of all creatures.
Here’s what happens. You experience then you apply meaning. (I like to be short and sweet).
The critical factor is your perception. Your perception is how you see things, how you feel about things, the way that you think about things, and eventually the meaning that you give to those things.
Perception Is Reality. I know You’ve Heard This Before.
How you look at things is what makes something real. At least, real to you. When you experience something you have a reaction. That reaction requires you to make meaning out of it, which is what you ultimately decide what was, was.
This meaning leads to your interpretations and assumptions and ultimately your beliefs which influence everything. Including how you feel about yourself and what you do.
So you want to stop People Pleasing and want to know how if you’ve been doing this since childhood.
My answer, change the Meaning You Give to Everything. Because you will disempower those beliefs that have held you captive to this habitual behavior.
Take my specially designed QUIZ for People Pleasing and grab the accompanying worksheet to help you start becoming more aware of the meaning you are giving to things.
Remember I do things the Free 2 Thrive way. You can take that quiz HERE.
Now let’s take care of what’s next. The thing you are to reconsider how you’re giving meaning to. A aspect to reconsider how you giving meaning to it.
MISUNDERSTANDINGS ~How to Bond with others.
Want to use this article on your website or your own ezine? No problem! But here is what you MUST include:
Lana McMurray is the founder of Free 2 Thrive Coaching LLC. She is a Growing Certainty Coach for ambitious people trapped in all-too-ordinary lives. She helps entrepreneurs, creatives and business owners successfully navigate Uncertainty as they go through their unavoidable Journey of Growth. She understands the many ways that risk-taking, self starting people secretly undermine themselves and stop the growth process. She helps them stay True to Themselves so that grow into their extraordinary lives.
She also personally knows that “Life can be Messy” and there is a unique difficulty in being an Entrepreneur, Creative or Business Owner who is seeking to to be “True to Themselves” and grow their lives and businesses but at home is dealing with toxic a relationship. As an overcomer of Verbal/Emotional Abuse, she helps them gain Clarity and make empowering decisions. To get your F*R*E*E Trainings and weekly Growth Support visit www.free2thrivecoaching.com
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